Loser! Sad! Hilarious!

The worst thing about the obsession with theatre criticism coverage of politics is that the people who do it are usually really really bad at it. So Chris Christie is a super charismatic macho man's man, the Alpha Dog of the bunch. In reality he's the dweeby kid who keeps getting pansted by the jocks even as he begs for more. "One day they'll let me hang with the cool kids!" he thinks, as the "kick me" sign remains attached to his back and his face is newly slushied.

Governor Chris Christie, of New Jersey, another of Trump’s opponents early in the campaign, has transformed himself into a sort of manservant, who is constantly with Trump at events. (One Republican told me that a friend of his on the Trump campaign used Snapchat to send him a video of Christie fetching Trump’s McDonald’s order.)