Eschaton

Conservative commentator Snotglass gives us his Thanksgiving message:

Our elected President, George W. Bush is making great strides in fulfilling his solemn campaign promise to be the Education President. Despite the stubborn resistance of obstructionist Democrats and the powerful liberal teachers lobby, President Bush has enjoyed considerable success.

The failed liberal education policies of the Clinton regime have produced a generation of American children unable to function in the modern workplace. Social promotion of illiterate students and the feel-good, self-esteem curriculum forced on public schools by unqualified unionized teachers are a prescription for failure.

But exhaustive research conducted by the eminent Professor Richard Arkwright of the Family Freedom Foundation's Center for Public Education at Liberty University offers a solution to the mass-production education failure of the liberal welfare state. Addressing the problem of children who are often graduated with little real-life economic skills, public schools should be designed to not only give students a basic knowledge of reading, writing and arithmetic, but also produce marketable skills that qualify individual students in the labor force.

Beginning in kindergarten, students should be trained under the close supervision of experts in Industrial Technology, giving them a proven hands-on education in valuable labor skills. This approach, enlightened educators agree, would not only utilize a tested learning device, but would also produce a viable product which could be sold to offset the cost of their education. Participating school districts and their supporting business partners can provide incentives to promising students through corporate sponsored scholastic achievement awards in the form of product placement in the school.

“It’s these kinds of common sense education reforms that have been subverted by a failed generation of liberal dominance in education,” said prominent educator and noted author Jonah Goldberg. “Students have been given copious helpings of useless Wood Shop and Metal Shop training while being denied the character-building discipline of Sweat Shop.”

You people are anti-family and unpatriotic.