Eschaton

Mr. Hinky Dinky writes to George Will:


Dear Mr. Will:

I just wanted to write and tell you that your article on the November 7, 2002 episode of The Washington Post is both entertaining and quite sexy! Kudos, my good man. Never in my life have I achieved an erection while reading another man's writings (heh! my participles don't dangle that way), but when you wrote, "small undulations of the electorate have been having big consequences for a generation," I nearly blew my considerable load!

You can rest assured that there will be no more internet porn for me, Mr. Will. I'm reading you from now on. With phrases like "cumulative shift," "electoral spankings," "Dick Gephardt," you had me living inside a fantasy of Lovelacian proportions.

Now I don't get off too much on domination or snuff fantasies, Mr. Will, so I would appreciate it if you'd exclude the following phrases in future articles, "rendered incoherent, "boundless subserviance," and "eight-year domination." That's not to say that it was bad writing, by any means, I'm just not into that is all.

On the other hand, feel free to talk more about the Republicans "regaining control of the Judiciary Committee's gavel." That sounds like it might warrant a whole article all on its own!

But please don't let my criticism of your domination and snuff fantasies ruin your day. Suffice it to say that when I was reading your article, I spanked my monkey so hard that PETA protested. Heh! Heh! Heh!

Thanks again for the dandy stress reliever, Mr. Will.

Sincerely,

Mr. Hinky Dink

P.S. At the end of your article you wrote, "Tuesday's ripples will radiate for years." Are you expecting a nuclear war, or something? If so, please write about that. Missiles are sexy!