From Whitehouse.org

Good afternoon. Please be seated. As you know, this morning Senator Trent Lott pretended to voluntarily relinquish the position of Senate Majority Leader. And while I was saddened to semi-violently force his hand in the matter, I was left with no other choice, what with the news media having suddenly awakened from a decades-long journalistic coma and started digging around in broad daylight for dirt on GOP racism. As such, much as I applaud Senator Lott's voting record on keeping the coloreds in their place and trying to nix that dumb Martin Lawrence King Day thing, unfortunately, the black cat's out of the body bag, and so Trent must go.