Dear Americans and Liberalist enemies of the National Secuity State,
Your Victorious Leader, President George W. Dewey Bush, - masculine commander and hero of our glorious defeat of the Iraqi Navy during the battle for Manilla Bay - has consulted with many experts and insiders and other adults from all over the world, including the United States and Texas, and on August 16, 2002 made it perfectly plain spoken clear why a "regime change" in Iraq was necessary.
"There should be no doubt in anybody's mind this man [Saddam Hussein] is thumbing his nose at the world,..." - GWB, Crawford Community Center, Crawford, Texas - August 16, 2002
There you have it. The President has spoken. I do not see any mention of weapons of mass destruction in that statement. The real reason for "regime change" in Iraq is found in our presidents 17 word address to the nation above. It was about "nose thumbing" all the time. All this talk about, "where are the weapons of mass destruction", or "were there any weapons of mass destruction", or "will there be any weapons of mass destruction found in the future", and on and on. Who cares if anyone said there were any, and who cares if anyone said there weren't. For God sake,... can't we all just keep things simple around here.
This is the deal. As follows - in order of importance.
#1- Nose thumbing.
Remember the Gulf of Tonkin incident? That was an international nose thumbing incident that appeared on radar. In the middle of the night. In the middle of the Gulf of Catalina, where Ho Chi Minh's navy attempted to establish a beachhead at San Clemente. If Lyndon Johnson hadn't listened to his military intelligence experts and close inside advisers from the United States and Texas, Richard Nixon never would have been able to end the Vietnam War. Consider how many more Americans and innocent Vietnamese civilians, held prisoner by their own people, would have died had Richard Nixon never become president and had the wherewithal to do whatever he pleased. So does it really matter if the Gulf of Tonkin incident happened or not? Of course not.
A little nose thumbing here, a little nose thumbing there... next thing you know you've got a running nose thumbing pandemic spreading around the globe. The running nose thumbing "drip effect". And it will eventually spread like a rogue nose thumbing fifth column Stalinist domino-virus. Nothing short of nasal warfare, reaching around the world. Fouling all innocent freedom loving peoples in emerging democracies like Belarus and Singapore and Texas and even within the United States itself. Can't have it. Lines in the sandbox must be drawn.
I myself recently received a nose thumbing (in a manner of speaking) from a disgruntled liberalist driving one of those french fry oil powered cars, and found the experience so humiliating and potentially dangerous that I tracked the treasonous proboscis abusing menace to the parking lot of a vegetarian restaurant, confronted him with his crimes against freedom and dragged him screaming from his greasy enviro-terrorist crockpot while thrashing him about the head and torso with a rolled up copy of the September 2002 issue of the American Sons of Liberty Magazine. Then I stood over him pounding my chest and quoting Thomas Jefferson, "we will not accept being transported to France by liberals driving a featherbed!" Rooting evil from within, wherever and whenever it presents itself, is the preemptive strike civil defense Homeland security obligation of every real American patriot. Chest thumping good. Nose thumbing bad. Got it?
"There should be no doubt in anybody's mind this man [Saddam Hussein].....that he desires weapons of mass destruction. " -GWB, Crawford Community Center, Crawford, Texas - August 16, 2002
#2 - Wanton unchecked desire.
I don't think I need to overstate the awesome power of wanton unchecked desire do I? I didn't think so. And hasn't Rick Santorum (R-Deuteronomy) alerted us all to the chilling consequences of such wanton appetite? Wherever you find unchecked desire you find trouble in the neighborhood. Hazardous cavalier often fatal misuse of gasoline products, weapons of mass, or even occasional sporadic destruction, man on dog tea dances, and countless nose thumbing disorders resulting from the immigration of swarthy nose thumbing heroin dealers into our country. Hey!.....you out there, you with the box of orange pekoe, unhand that cocker spaniel you deranged fiend....and don't you thumb your nose at me!
Remember to heed the words of the great Sen. John Warner, (R- Virginia Colony), "continue to repose trust in the administration"
As the folk singer Ted Nugent allegedly once remarked, "God guns and greed made America. Lets keep all three."
Yours in Victory,
Col. Harden Long, foreign policy intelligence consultant and industrial magnate.
PS: My apologies for the outburst above ......now then, where are those nose thumbing photos I was working