(Sung to the tune of TE Ford's "16 Tons.")
Ya blow 16 words and what do you get?
A long walk off a short plank on the deck.
St. Peter don't you call me, cuz I can't go,
I sold my soul like a Company ho'.
We told 'em thirty times that the claim was a lie
but no matter what we did the sucker just wouldn't die.
I should have done the right thing when I first had the chance
But I thought I might avoid that ugly gallows dance.
Ya blow 16 words, and what do you get?
A chance to take an oval office boot in the neck.
St. Peter don't you call me, cuz I can't go,
I sold my people's honor like a two-dollar ho'.
They knew it down at State and in the OVP,
They knew it at the White House through the NSC,
But when I said remember this is plainly a scam,
They told me to go out and get a rectal exam.
Ya blow 16 words and what do you get?
A civil service pension; not a bad safety net.
I sold my soul and I look pretty bent
but when I hit the private sector gonna make me a mint.
Now, anyone for the "16 candles" version?