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I swear that I witnessed George W. Bush having carnal relations with a swine. I am willing to sign an affadavit stating so.
I can now appear in commercials stating. "I am a pig farmer. While at a campaign stop in Iowa. George Bush attacked one of my sows. George Bush is a pigf****r. I know, because I was there."
Soon I will appear on the cable news shows. The Washington Post will dutifully report on my claims, because, it will not judge my credibility. I will be appointed to be a federal judge by the Kerry administration. My career path is set. Bring it on.
...developing, on the front page of the Washington Post, tomorrow!