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And finally, New Rule: You can't run on a mistake. Franklin Roosevelt didn't run for re-election claiming Pearl Harbor was his finest hour. Abe Lincoln was a great president, but the high point of his second term wasn't theater security. 9/11 wasn't a triumph of the human spirit. It was a fuck-up by a guy on vacation.
Now, don't get me wrong, Mr. President. I'm not blaming you for 9/11. We have blue-ribbon commissions to do that. And I'm not saying there was anything improper about your immediate response to the attacks. Someone had to stay in that classroom and protect those kids from Chechen rebels.
But by the looks of your convention, you'd think that the worst thing that ever happened to us was the best thing that ever happened to you. You just can't keep celebrating the deadliest attack ever as if it's your personal rendezvous with greatness. You don't see old men who were shot down during World War II jumping out of a plane every year. I mean, other than your dad.
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So I say, if you absolutely must win an election on the backs of dead people, do it like they do in Chicago, and have them actually vote for you.
Really, the entire Bush campaign reminds me of a bit of Beavis and Butthead dialogue:
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Butthead George: Hey Beavis, huh-huh-huh, remember that time I stood on that mass grave with the bullhorn?
Beavis Dick: heh-heh-heh, yah, that was cool.