Borat Speaks

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A statement from fictional Kazakh reporter Borat's D.C. press conference outside the Embassy of Kazakhstan:

"Jagshemash, my name Borat Sagdiyev. I would like to comment on recent advertisments on television and in media about my nation of Kazakhstan, saying that women are treated equally, and that all religions are tolerated — these are disgusting fabrications. These claims are part of a propoganda campaign against our country by evil nitwits Uzbekistan — who as we all know are a very nosey people, with a bone in the middle of their brain.


"There is a man name Roman Vasilenko who is claiming to be Press Secretary of Kazakhstan. Please do not listen this man, he is Uzbek imposter, and is currently being hunted by our agents. I must further say on behalf of my government, that if Uzbekistan do not desist from funding these attacks, then we will not rule out the possibility of military intervention. ...

"Furthermore, all claims that our glorious leader is displeased with my film, 'Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazahkstan' is lie. Infacts main purpose of Premier Nazharbayev's visit to Washingtons is to promote this moviefilm. This why together with Ministry of Information he will be hosting a screening tomorrow evening, to which he have invitate Premier George Walter Bush and other American dignitaries — Donald Rumsfeld, Bill Gates, O.J. Simpson and Mel Gibsons. This screening will be followed by cocktail party and a discussion of closer ties between our countries at Hooters, on 825 7th Street.

"Thank you, I must now return to Embassy where my government need me.

"Chenquieh"