As Matt says, there isn't a choice between urban hellhole and exurban hellhole. While I've accepted the fact that no matter how often I try to explain this point some people, for whatever reason, will fail to understand, I do get that not everyone wants to live in an urban hellhole, that for lots of people what we generalize as "suburbia" is roughly what they want.
But you can build a "suburbia" which is, while still mostly car-centric, not entirely car dependent. Older inner ring suburbs are examples of this, as are some newer developments in various places. Often developers face resistance and are unable to build these places, and sometimes policies make it illegal or just unworkable.
