NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wolverines!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but I have grim news: "Red Dawn" isn't coming Nov. 24, as the conservative blogs have all promised. In fact, no one knows when the movie will ever be released. Although it sounds like yet another liberal Hollywood conspiracy, the movie (which was filmed in Detroit last year) is suffering from a far bigger problem: It was made by MGM, and MGM has run out of money. The troubled studio managed to make several movies recently, one that was already released ("Hot Tub Time Machine"), one that is being released next year by Sony ("The Zookeeper") and one, "Red Dawn," that is in the can but may stay there for quite a while, at least until someone buys MGM or provides the kind of big investment needed to market and distribute new films.

According to an MGM insider, the bloggers have a few other things wrong beside that release date. The film didn't cost $75 million. It was made for $42 million, thanks to a load of tax breaks from being filmed in Michigan. It doesn't have any music by Toby Keith, because no one has recorded any music for its soundtrack yet. (Keith's name was simply used as a reference in the script.) And Tom Cruise's son, Connor, isn't the star, simply one of an ensemble of young actors paying the roles handled by Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen and C. Thomas Howell in the original.