Just Say A Black Guy Did It

Everybody will believe you.

At about 9:30 Tuesday night, Ahlers, who is white, told St. Paul police that he’d been shot by a black man with a “short Afro” who was wearing a navy sweatshirt.

Within minutes, 55 officers swarmed the campus, along with four police dogs and a State Patrol aircraft to search for the suspect.

Ahlers was taken to the hospital and released, according to a statement posted on the St. Catherine website. He is expected to make a full recovery.

At a news conference, police spokesman Mike Ernster said the campus had been on lockdown with “1,800 student held captive in their dorm rooms.” Neighborhood residents, shaken by reports of a gunman at large, asked police officers to check their houses.