Please Stop

No, really, stop.

I’ve noticed that there’s a cultural caste system if you live in or around Philly. And in the eyes of the media and tastemakers, you’re the high school Band Geek: Earnest. Unsexy. The kid standing by your locker with a piccolo while the jocks and hipsters grab all the dates and glory.

You’re the straight-A student with a too-heavy bookbag and an after-school job at the YMCA. The cool kids are in Philly. They drink Sugar Wash Rum and tool around on shabby-chic bicycles. You pay car insurance and decide state and national elections; the cool kids would only carshare to your zip code if it meant wrapping their tattooed arms around a rare batch of Tired Hands milkshake India Pale Ale.