Every Never Trumper blissfully pretending the Republican party isn't what it is:
Democrats are irrational, that's all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating
Vacillating, calculating, agitating
Maddening and infuriating hags!
Republicans are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat
Well, why can't a Democrat be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a Democrat learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a Democrat take after a Republican?
Republicans are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease